It can be so easy to blame people or circumstances for our choices. How often do we find ourselves saying things like, “well if he hadn’t done that, then I wouldn’t need to…” or “I couldn’t because…” 

Blame is so easy to do but it is the cheap way out.

One of my favorite quotes about blame goes like this, “The minute we blame is the minute we take responsibility off ourselves and give in to fear.”

WOW. Read that again.

I am telling you what I know to be true – it is so easy to blame. If we blame others then it’s not our fault, we have no responsibility in the matter.

The thing is, blaming is an excuse.

It’s giving ourselves permission to not try. It’s giving ourselves permission to come in last. It’s giving ourselves permission to give up. It’s a way of self-sabotaging.

It’s easy to see how blaming removes responsibility from ourselves, but it’s interesting when you start to realize that blame is rooted in fear. Sometimes we may use blame to avoid doing something we were afraid to do in the first place. If you blame someone or something for your inability to do something it gets you out of trying, but it also stops you from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone so you can grow or move forward.

If you blame someone or something for your inability to do something it gets you out of trying, but it also stops you from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone so you can grow or move forward.

The thing is, it’s through the fire that we are refined. It’s through pushing into our fear during hard times that we reach our goals and finally accept ownership. Ownership of our children (it’s not the teacher's fault!), marriages, careers, and choices. We have to take ownership and think about how we can be better. How can we be better parents? Spouses? How can we be present more?

We have to bring it back to the one thing we can actually control – ourselves.

We can’t always control our circumstances, we can’t control others, the economy, the weather, or what happens at school/work. What we can control is ourselves. We can control our attitudes, the things we cower away from, and the things we lean into and push through.

I want to encourage you today to quit the blame game. Step away.

Take ownership of everything you do. Stop giving in to fear. I know this is easier said than done, but as you stand in the face of fear you will feel it less and less. It comes up less and less because you know you can conquer it. You realize fear is mostly false – we make it up in our heads. And nothing compares to the feeling of accomplishing something you didn’t think you could. It is so much more satisfying when things happen in spite of.

Stay away from the blame game, step into your fear, just do it – you’re designed for it!