It’s time to get real for a minute. I am a reformed people pleaser.

I know all about being an approval junkie, so please don’t feel like I am passing judgment here. I am simply reaching out to try to help you and show you where some of your actions may be leading you in a different direction than what you want. I want to hold that mirror up for a moment and let you see what you are doing to yourself.

• So how often do you feel used?
• Maybe you worry about other people's feelings fairly often?
• Do you not make choices because you are afraid others won’t approve of your choice?
• Maybe you fear letting others down?
• Do you hate confrontation?
• Always say yes?
• Do you do extra work that you don’t have to do, but you do it anyway just because you “have the time”?

Does all this (or even one or two) sound like you? Eeek...*gut check* Then you most likely have some people-pleasing tendencies. 

At first, you may think, “but it can’t possibly be bad to think of others.” To a certain extent that’s true. The real problem is when you start putting others before yourself. You readily take all of your “stuff” and put it on the backburner so you can help everyone else. This self-sacrificing behavior doesn’t help you. In the end, it would lead to resentment and neglecting yourself. You will end up being angry at everyone you do these things for because they don’t ever do things for you.

Ask yourself this, why do you want these people’s approval so badly? Why are you doing these things?

By putting others first you can end up depressed and upset.

You find yourself veering off the path that God intended for you because you aren’t doing what He intended. You are busy taking care of everyone else that you don’t leave any time for you to work on your own life’s work. You don’t have to sign up to do everything for everyone! Let someone else worry about it and take a bit of time to do the things you need to do for you. God put you on this earth for a reason. It’s not to spread yourself so thin that you don’t even have time to breathe!

When you are faced with a decision, turn to God and ask Him if it’s something you need to do. If it’s part of your mission on this planet. Ask Him if he feels you should be doing all these things you have been doing. You are making all of that priority over everything else that isn’t getting done. What you focus on day in and day out shows the world what your priorities are. Not what you say they are, but what you actually do. That’s deep stuff.

So I encourage you to take a few minutes today and really evaluate what you feel is important. Then sit and think about where you have been putting your energy. Do they match up? If not, you know what you need to do.

-Mindy