On September 30, 2016, my life was changed forever. My sister, my best friend (my GIRL!), Renata, lost her life in a single car accident. This has by far been the most traumatic thing I have ever experienced. I’ve been in shock. I’ve been depressed - and that is not something I’ve ever experienced.

Those of you who have experienced something traumatic in your life already know how much it affects you, not only emotionally but physically. My brain is not working the same way. I wake up in the morning and all I want to do is watch TV – and I am not a TV person. The rational side of my brain is constantly fighting the emotional side and every day is so different. It has been so hard to fight through the physical effects that the loss of my sister is having on me. Yet somehow, in spite of the loss, the shock, the trauma, I can sit here today and talk to you about it. I can sit here and tell you, honestly, that I still have HOPE. I have hope that I will see my sister Renata again someday, and I have hope that this deep sadness is not the end of my story.

Six months ago I was looking for a Bible Study to do online with a group of women as part of the Hope in Struggle ministry. I settled on Cynthia Heald’s book, Becoming a Woman of Purpose. Six months ago. Long before I knew what was going to happen to my sister. But God knew. Even though this book was written years ago, and I chose it months ago, what I read today was perfect for exactly what I am going through right now. What?! How is that possible?? I’d love to share with you what I read this morning and what God has shown me through it.

It starts off with a scripture. Philippians 1:29-30 says, “You were given, in this battle, the privilege to not merely be believing in Christ but to also be suffering for his sake. It is now your turn to take part in the battle. You once saw me engaged in it from afar. It’s now your turn and I will be fighting with you."

I am fighting a battle right now, and I know some of you are too. Grief is a crazy process. It’s not just a straight line continuum where you go through all of the stages and you’re done. It’s back and forth, up and down. Some days you feel like you’re going to be ok and some days you just want to stay in bed all day. I’m fighting the battle of seeking God in the worst of times when I’d rather just lay on the couch. I’m fighting the battle against the footholds that so easily take root at times like this. For me, it has been the desire to just lay around and watch TV. For others, it might be drinking too much alcohol, eating too much, spending too much – it can be anything. I am fighting a battle, but I am not fighting it alone.

The book goes on to quote JC Ryle, “Through affliction He teaches us many precious lessons that otherwise we would never learn. By affliction, He shows us our emptiness and weakness that draws us near his throne of grace. It purifies us of our affections and it weans us from this world and makes us long for Heaven.”

I hate it so much that my sister is gone. I hate it. And I hate it that Lee has to go through another round of treatment for cancer. But God chose us to go through all of this. Why? People like to say that God promised not to give us more than we can handle but that’s not actually true. The Bible tells us that we will be given more than we can handle so that we will rely on God to help us through it. God has our backs. He is fighting with us. It is still going to suck, and I will have days where I wake up feeling horrible and won’t want to get out of bed but the more I allow myself to adopt this mindset of having been chosen to carry this burden FOR GOD’S GLORY, the more the sun starts to come back out. God still works in the dark times. There is not only hope in our struggles but there is a purpose in them as well.

When my nephew was 18 or 19 (he’s 30 now), he had a brain tumor. Before he went to have surgery to get it removed we were at church and everyone was praying for him. People were praying for his safety, his healing, all of that. When it got to be his turn he started thanking God for choosing him to have this brain tumor and thanking God for giving him the opportunity to go through this so that he could use it for the glory of God. WHAT?!? This 18-year-old just blew everybody out of the water with the way he viewed what he was going through. This was a brain tumor. A brain tumor is a pretty big deal. And he was thanking God.

When we focus on the good that is what we will see.

You were chosen to carry your burden, whatever that burden may be. God doesn’t dole out hardship just to do it. He chooses us so that we can bring him glory through what we are dealing with and how we deal with it.

If you are going through a hard season or struggle, I am always here for you! If you need prayer or want to meet regularly via video or phone sessions, I am more than happy to schedule appointments to help you pray, talk through things, and give you tips and resources on your journey that have helped me walk through mine. Click here to find out more information on my mentorship program.

In Him,

Mindy